Hello!

It's been a long time since I have blogged. I have had a lot going on the last few months. As some of you may know from my previous blog my family went through a lot recently. I am still dealing with my mom's issues. She has not fully recovered from the accident she had at my house.

We are not sure what is going on. She has had test after test and they can't seem to understand why she has weakness on the right side of her body. My assumptions are that she either has a pinched nerve in her back or neck or she had severe trauma to her brain.

Since she was already not well from her bout with a brain tumor several years ago it is possible that the fall just set her back further. I am not sure but it has been a very frustrating and trying time in the lives of myself and my 2 brothers.

My mom is currently unemployed and has no medical coverage so she has received little to no help. We are having to take turns caring for her. On top of that we each still have to find a way to deal with our personal lives. We each have jobs, families and relationships that we must try to maneuver around.

It's been really crazy for me since I have a child I must also take care of and try not to interrupt her life too much. I don't want her stressed out about stuff. I also need to make sure I am spending time with her and trying to keep our lives as normal as I can.

I am also trying to build my personal training business which is getting a little hectic. I have a full time job as well so I have to juggle training session before and after work and in between the days I have to care for my mom.

I almost put my dreams to the side until my friend had a talk with me. She told me I couldn't do that. I had to learn how to step back from trying to be a hero and let someone else take part of the load. You see I am the kind of person that wants to make everything perfect and take care of everyone. In the process of that I tend to put my needs to the side and lose myself.

I found myself on the verge of a nervous breakdown trying to figure out how everything was going to work. I had to let go and trust that God was in control. I had to allow my brothers to grow up and take their responsibilities serious. I couldn't take on the world on my own. As much as I wanted to I just couldn't.

So although my life has been pretty hectic I am grateful for the lessons I have learned over the past few months. I am learning how to step back and trust God. I am learning how to appreciate the little things because you never know when they might be taken away. The most important lesson is learning how to live my life fully. I have to realize that each moment whether I see it as "good" or "bad" is meant to teach me something.

I can't be concerned with the why's and how's I just have to trust and believe that everything in my life has a purpose. It is all for God's glory and I can't put my hands in it. I have to surrender my heart and walk this journey conscious of my place in this world.

Things may not always be how I want them to be but they are perfect according to God's plan. So as I continue to walk this path He has laid before me I will move by faith being confident that this work HE started in me He will finish. Not just to transform my life to save the lives as others.