I have been MIA from blogging for over a month now. I had lots to blog about but didn't feel the motivation to do so. I kind of wanted to go through my issues privately. I also had such bipolar emotions going on that I didn't want to scare anyone. :)
For those of you that follow my blog you know that I have had a rough last few months since my mom became disabled. It has been very challenging and overwhelming to care for her and try to still live my own life. Her needs have overshadowed mine and I have kind of gotten lost in the shuffle.
I have been dealing with some pretty heavy emotions and I wasn't sure how to deal with them. Although I know God and have faith in Him things where getting pretty intense in my life. I was going to a place that I wasn't sure how I was going to get out of. I knew I didn't want to be there but wasn't sure how to find the light in such a dark place.
Over the last few months I haven't been consistent with my workouts or eating. You can kind of say I have been all over the place. Between my full time job, training clients, being a mom and taking care of my mother I have been really busy. Honestly I really haven't been too motivated to be active and take care of myself. I kind of have just been on autopilot. Just trying to survive day to day.
I share all of this not so that you have pity on me but to show you that I have my struggles too. While I try to be encouraging to others I often find myself without motivation. I sometimes find myself struggling to find hope in tough situations. I am just keeping it real.
I know I can overcome every adversity through the power of God working in me but sometimes I just feel like giving up and drowning in my sorrows. It's just the truth. There are days that the burdens seem so heavy I don't know if I can handle them.
As things started to feel heavier and heavier I decided that I needed to find a way to gain control again. While I may not always have the ability to control the things that come in and out of my life I do have the ability to control how I handle them. I can control my emotions, make the best of my situation and find purpose in the pain.
That is what I did. I decided to take an even deeper spiritual journey within. I am in a place that is very new to me. I have talked a lot about the power of our thoughts but never really fully explored that revelation until recently.
I have started a new journey in my life that I am very excited about right now. I am learning how to release the chains that have bound me for so many years. I am learning how to accept who I am and love it. I am learning to be comfortable in my own skin. I am learning to see myself in others and overcome my trials with conscious compassion.
Life may not always be easy but it ALWAYS has purpose. The more you struggle to understand the less power you have to fight through it. The key to surviving your adversities is to surrender them to God. To find the purpose in your pain and use the oppositions as opportunities.
While these last few months have been some of the most challenging of my life I am confident that God has been with me every step of the way. He has taken the trials and helped me to triumph. I have learned so much about myself and others.
I have found that we often hide ourselves beneath the pain rather than allowing it to bring us up to the next level in faith. The pain might be an uncomfortable thing to deal with but we can't try to ignore it. It surfaces in our lives for a reason. So rather than trying to shut it up with food, relationships, addictions or others things we must learn to be present with it.
We must learn to give it room to breathe. We must let it teach us....make us more conscious and aware of the power that is within us. The end of your comfortable life often marks the beginning of a life full of miracles. It points you in the direction of your healing and opens you up to love. LOVE is the substance of all blessings!
