How do you deal with emotional eating? I have struggled with this for many years. I have came across several people that deal with this issue as well. My belief is that you must address the emotions and not the eating. As I have shared before I believe that true transformation starts from within.
I believe that the emotional eating stems from lies that we have forced ourselves to believe. We have accepted the pain, rejection and disappointments in life and allowed them to conform us. God's word says "be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Romans 12:2.
What this essential means is don't let life force you into a mold. Don't let the situations in your life keep you from being what God created you to be. Don't let the pain keep you hostage or fearful. Let God's word transform you.
How do we begin to heal the emotions that lead to overeating? We must attack every lie with a truth. We must attach ourselves to God truths and hold onto them until our change comes. (Job 14:14) Just as the woman with the issue of blood (Mathew 9:20) many of us have dealt with issues for many years. We are wounded and bleeding.
No matter how much we hear the truth we can't hold onto it long enough to see it take form and manifest in our lives. We keep going back to our old thoughts and old way of doing things. We doubt every step we take, question our direction and feel insecure about the choices we make. We beat ourselves up over and over again. We binge eat. We eat healthy. We miss workouts. We stay committed. We recycle through old emotions over and over again.
We use food as a way to silence the noises in our head. We think that putting ourselves on a restricted diet will take care of the issue but it won't. Addressing emotional eating with a restrictive diet only intensifies the emotions. We often lose some weight but then go right back to our way of thinking and eating and gain it all back and then some.
So how do we finally put the nail in the coffin and let the old things pass away? We must stay attached. We must meditate on God's word day and night. We must meditate on things that are up above (Colossians 3:2). We must cleanse our hearts and allow the truth to take root in us. We can't let the seeds of prosperity and success fall on dry ground. We must water our hearts with God's word continually.
Just like the woman with the issue of blood we can be healed from our emotional eating. We can be made whole and complete as we allow the word of God to perfect us. As we begin to awaken to the truth's found in His word we will understand who we are and how we work. The word of God has principles and directions that we must adhere to in order to ensure that we are living the life He created us to live.
God doesn't want you to be wounded and bleeding. God's says His plans for you are to prosper you and give you a future full of hope (Jeremiah 29:11). We don't have to be victims to our emotions. We don't have to be slaves to them. They don't have to control our lives. God has given us the victory over them. We are more than conquerors (Romans 8:37).
It's time that we start eating God's word instead of silencing our pain with food. "Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" Mathew 4:4 (NIV). We can live free of depression, anxiety and fear because God has already overcame the world (John 16:33). He already paid the price for your pain.
We don't have to stay attached to our past. God says "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV). We are made new in the truth of God's word. We are made new in body, mind and spirit as we accept the powerful word of God into our lives.
Next time you feel the urge to feed your emotions I want you to speak life. I want you to hold tight to the word of God and speak it over your life. You have the victory.....you just have to believe it.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
What It Means To Me!
A little over 2 years ago I embarked on a journey to change my life. While I had tried several times before to lose weight it wasn't til recently that I decided to get serious about my health. For many years I tried diet after diet and managed to lose a few pounds and then gain it back. I have been on this weight loss journey for a long time now.
In the beginning I was only doing it for myself. I wanted to look better and feel better about myself. I thought that if I lost enough weight I could gain back the affection of my husband or I could find new love. Maybe I could even learn to love myself.
As the years went by I began to learn more and more about nutrition and exercise. I learned about my body and how it works and why certain foods and exercises are more beneficial than others. Basically I learned about the science and mechanics of weight loss.
Although I had a bunch of head knowledge something wasn't clicking in my life. I thought I knew all that I needed to know about how to lose weight but I wasn't losing it. I wasn't being consistent enough to see the changes I wanted to see in my body.
I later realized that I was focusing too much on the physical and not enough on the emotional and spiritual part. It's true that the combination of eating well and exercise is the key to not only weight loss but creating a healthy body in general but it doesn't stop there. Honestly it doesn't even begin there. Food and exercise are only band aids that cover up so much more.
As some of you know from my previous posts I am not just passionate about fitness and nutrition but I believe in spiritual and mental well being as well. Along this journey I have came to discover many amazing truths about not only myself but life in general. Those truths have helped free me from the things that caused me to gain weight in the first place.
Healing those emotional parts of me has been one of the most amazing parts of this journey. While lifting weights and exercising can help you feel strong exercising who you are in the spirit is even more empowering. When you begin to awaken that potential inside of you nothing can stop that. Nothing can come in between who you are and what you were called to do. It's like a magnetic field that pulls at your very core.
I believe we were all created with a certain plan and purpose. Everything we are and have been through is a part of that plan. We learn from the journey we take. No matter where you have been and what you have done it serves a purpose. The experiences in our lives often become the fuel that drives us to pursue the passions we have burning deep down in our souls.
We are not fully functioning at our capacity until we can learn to accept that we are perfect just as we are. Many of us strive to be more, do more and achieve more but yet miss the truth of who we are. We miss the meaning of the doing. We miss the value of the things we obtain because we become defined by them. We become wrapped up in a world that is ever changing and so we are never satisfied with who we perceive ourselves to be.
As we begin to strip away the layers of our "false" identity that we have established in possessions and circumstances we can begin to move and function in an effortless and unlimited realm. Soon what you did becomes who you are. You no longer strive to be healthy.....you are healthy. You no longer strive to be successful.....you are successful. We must be formless.....willing to change and move with each stage of life.
We can't hold onto what we are and reach what we want to be. Essentially we are spirit and spirit has no boundaries...it has no form. Like the word of God says "be ye not conformed into the image of this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind". We are not supposed to force ourselves to fit a mold, an ideal or stereotype. We are not bound or limited by our circumstances or past. We are transformed as we awaken to our true nature.
Our true nature is who God created us to be. This is not a religious ideology. This is not limited to your religious beliefs. When I write this blog I am not coming from a "Christian" perspective. I am coming from an awaken state. From a place of spiritual maturity because I have discovered these truths in my own life. I quote scriptures simply as a way to confirm what I believe in. I can't defend any religious beliefs I can only speak from the depth of my own spirit.
We must all walk out and live our own truths. That is the only way to live the fullest life we have been created to live. We are not to live in a world that someone else created for us. We are to create our own reality as we begin to awaken and accept our own truths. We have all been equipped for what ever plan God has created for our lives. We are not here on this Earth merely existing or taking up space. We have an assignment.
Understanding these truths has driven me along my journey. It has helped me uncover who I am and what I want to do with this life God has given me. I am passionate about empowering others and helping them awaken to their own truth so they can live the life they were created to live.
I have had my own struggles with fears, doubts and insecurities. I have spent years battling my own obesity issues and struggled with emotional eating. I came from a place of wanting to end my own life but now I am excited to live and help others live. I am passionate about discovering my own strengthens so that I can impart that wisdom and power into others.
My dream for many years has been to be personal trainer and health coach. I was always fearful of stepping into that profession because I didn't think I was good enough. I was always insecure about how I looked, what others thought of me and how I would be judged. I was afraid to fail at something that was new to me.
I have slept for too many years. I have kept my dreams hidden for too long. I finally decided to step out and put my faith in action. God spoke to me one day and said "you may not be perfect in the eyes of the world but you are perfect in my eyes....you are perfect for the plans I have for you....I have created you and equipped you to fulfill my will".
Understanding that truth is what gave me the confidence to finally pursue my passion. I am confident that the good work God created in me He will finish. I know that everything I have gone through, every struggle, question, disappointment, triumph and ounce of knowledge was all for the Kingdom of God.
God says seek you first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you. My hearts desire is to serve God and His people. I didn't pursue personal training to make money. I am in this because it is my calling. It's not about the physical aspect of training the body but rather helping people transform their lives through faith, fitness and nutrition. It's about helping them see their potential and discover their own truths.
I want to empower people through educating them and sharing my own story and struggles with them. I feel that you can train anyone to be a health coach or personal trainer but you can't teach them how to minister to someone's heart. You can't teach them how to be sensitive to someone's spirit and tap into their needs. That is my desire. Although I was hired to work at a gym I know who I am training for. I am God's trainer. I am merely the vessel being used to bring Him glory.
I have had to close many chapters in my life and make peace with several situations in order to start this new chapter in my life. For those of you that have read my other posts you know what I am talking about. For those that know me personally you know how far I have come to reach this place in my life. For many this may seem like just a job but for me it is validation and a great reward after enduring several years of pain and disappointment. It is as if God is smiling over me and saying "well done my good and faithful servant".
"His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things: enter into the joy of your lord." Matthew 25:23
In the beginning I was only doing it for myself. I wanted to look better and feel better about myself. I thought that if I lost enough weight I could gain back the affection of my husband or I could find new love. Maybe I could even learn to love myself.
As the years went by I began to learn more and more about nutrition and exercise. I learned about my body and how it works and why certain foods and exercises are more beneficial than others. Basically I learned about the science and mechanics of weight loss.
Although I had a bunch of head knowledge something wasn't clicking in my life. I thought I knew all that I needed to know about how to lose weight but I wasn't losing it. I wasn't being consistent enough to see the changes I wanted to see in my body.
I later realized that I was focusing too much on the physical and not enough on the emotional and spiritual part. It's true that the combination of eating well and exercise is the key to not only weight loss but creating a healthy body in general but it doesn't stop there. Honestly it doesn't even begin there. Food and exercise are only band aids that cover up so much more.
As some of you know from my previous posts I am not just passionate about fitness and nutrition but I believe in spiritual and mental well being as well. Along this journey I have came to discover many amazing truths about not only myself but life in general. Those truths have helped free me from the things that caused me to gain weight in the first place.
Healing those emotional parts of me has been one of the most amazing parts of this journey. While lifting weights and exercising can help you feel strong exercising who you are in the spirit is even more empowering. When you begin to awaken that potential inside of you nothing can stop that. Nothing can come in between who you are and what you were called to do. It's like a magnetic field that pulls at your very core.
I believe we were all created with a certain plan and purpose. Everything we are and have been through is a part of that plan. We learn from the journey we take. No matter where you have been and what you have done it serves a purpose. The experiences in our lives often become the fuel that drives us to pursue the passions we have burning deep down in our souls.
We are not fully functioning at our capacity until we can learn to accept that we are perfect just as we are. Many of us strive to be more, do more and achieve more but yet miss the truth of who we are. We miss the meaning of the doing. We miss the value of the things we obtain because we become defined by them. We become wrapped up in a world that is ever changing and so we are never satisfied with who we perceive ourselves to be.
As we begin to strip away the layers of our "false" identity that we have established in possessions and circumstances we can begin to move and function in an effortless and unlimited realm. Soon what you did becomes who you are. You no longer strive to be healthy.....you are healthy. You no longer strive to be successful.....you are successful. We must be formless.....willing to change and move with each stage of life.
We can't hold onto what we are and reach what we want to be. Essentially we are spirit and spirit has no boundaries...it has no form. Like the word of God says "be ye not conformed into the image of this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind". We are not supposed to force ourselves to fit a mold, an ideal or stereotype. We are not bound or limited by our circumstances or past. We are transformed as we awaken to our true nature.
Our true nature is who God created us to be. This is not a religious ideology. This is not limited to your religious beliefs. When I write this blog I am not coming from a "Christian" perspective. I am coming from an awaken state. From a place of spiritual maturity because I have discovered these truths in my own life. I quote scriptures simply as a way to confirm what I believe in. I can't defend any religious beliefs I can only speak from the depth of my own spirit.
We must all walk out and live our own truths. That is the only way to live the fullest life we have been created to live. We are not to live in a world that someone else created for us. We are to create our own reality as we begin to awaken and accept our own truths. We have all been equipped for what ever plan God has created for our lives. We are not here on this Earth merely existing or taking up space. We have an assignment.
Understanding these truths has driven me along my journey. It has helped me uncover who I am and what I want to do with this life God has given me. I am passionate about empowering others and helping them awaken to their own truth so they can live the life they were created to live.
I have had my own struggles with fears, doubts and insecurities. I have spent years battling my own obesity issues and struggled with emotional eating. I came from a place of wanting to end my own life but now I am excited to live and help others live. I am passionate about discovering my own strengthens so that I can impart that wisdom and power into others.
My dream for many years has been to be personal trainer and health coach. I was always fearful of stepping into that profession because I didn't think I was good enough. I was always insecure about how I looked, what others thought of me and how I would be judged. I was afraid to fail at something that was new to me.
I have slept for too many years. I have kept my dreams hidden for too long. I finally decided to step out and put my faith in action. God spoke to me one day and said "you may not be perfect in the eyes of the world but you are perfect in my eyes....you are perfect for the plans I have for you....I have created you and equipped you to fulfill my will".
Understanding that truth is what gave me the confidence to finally pursue my passion. I am confident that the good work God created in me He will finish. I know that everything I have gone through, every struggle, question, disappointment, triumph and ounce of knowledge was all for the Kingdom of God.
God says seek you first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you. My hearts desire is to serve God and His people. I didn't pursue personal training to make money. I am in this because it is my calling. It's not about the physical aspect of training the body but rather helping people transform their lives through faith, fitness and nutrition. It's about helping them see their potential and discover their own truths.
I want to empower people through educating them and sharing my own story and struggles with them. I feel that you can train anyone to be a health coach or personal trainer but you can't teach them how to minister to someone's heart. You can't teach them how to be sensitive to someone's spirit and tap into their needs. That is my desire. Although I was hired to work at a gym I know who I am training for. I am God's trainer. I am merely the vessel being used to bring Him glory.
I have had to close many chapters in my life and make peace with several situations in order to start this new chapter in my life. For those of you that have read my other posts you know what I am talking about. For those that know me personally you know how far I have come to reach this place in my life. For many this may seem like just a job but for me it is validation and a great reward after enduring several years of pain and disappointment. It is as if God is smiling over me and saying "well done my good and faithful servant".
"His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things: enter into the joy of your lord." Matthew 25:23
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Label Reading
I know it can be super overwhelming when you are trying to start a new healthy path. There are so many things to avoid. Processed food is one of those things you should try your best to reduce and eliminate from your diet. There are several reasons for that but the main one is that many products are filled with harmful ingredients. Most of which have been created in labs. They are most commonly used to prolong shelf life or enhance the flavor.
In order to reap the healthiest benefits from the food you buy and consume it is important to understand how to read labels. While not all processed foods are bad you do want to focus more on the quality of your food. Much emphasis has been placed on counting calories and macronutrients versus understanding what you are eating.
Many consumers never really read the back of the labels on their food. Uneducated consumers focus more on advertisements such as LOW FAT, CARB FREE, GLUTEN FREE, SUGAR FREE, FAT FREE, NO TRANS FATS. What does that really mean and how does it affect your food? If sugar, fat, carbs and gluten are being removed from your food what are they being replaced with?
What it really boils down to is eating real food not products disguised as food. Here are a few tips to consider when reading labels:
1. Pay attention to the ingredients. The value of food is determined by the list of ingredients NOT the numbers posted on the Nutrition Food section of the label (calories, vitamins...etc.). Many foods have been fortified to make them look healthy but are loaded with sugar and other unhealthy ingredients.
Fortified foods are stripped of nutrients during processing and then fortified with nutrients that are not bioavailable and unusable in the body. Companies know we practice quantity versus quality so they fortify foods to make them look healthier so we will purchase them.
2. The ingredients list is in descending order of the amounts used in a particular product. If sugar is the first ingredient then the product has more sugar than anything else listed on the label.
3. Many companies use multiple versions of the same ingredient in order to place them further down on the list. For example a product can have more than one source of sugar such as high fructose corn syrup, honey, sucralose, evaporated cane sugar, etc.. Since there are several variations of sugar used in smaller quantities they can be listed further down on the ingredients list giving the illusion that they are healthier.
4. Be careful with fat free products. Often times when an ingredient is removed another unhealthy ingredient is added. Fat free does not automatically mean healthy.
5. Not all juices are created equal. Juices made from concentrate have lost most of their nutritional value during processing leaving behind only empty calories and sugars. It is best to purchase juice that is freshly squeezed. Try extracting your own fruit and veggies juices for the healthiest benefits.
6. Most companies are only concerned about their own bottom line. The more you buy their products the more money they make. In an attempt to maximize their profit they use celebrities, athletes and health organizations to endorse their products.
Be honest how many people wouldn't endorse an unhealthy product when they are making millions of dollars in endorsements. They are getting paid to mislead you. Don't be persuaded or fooled by advertisements. Do your own research!
7. Look at the number of servings and the size of each serving. Don't automatically assume that a bottle of juice is one serving. You may be consuming 700 calories for one bottle with 2 servings.
8. Read every label thoroughly. If you can't pronounce or recognize a certain ingredient don't buy it. Do some research before you purchase that product.
9. Avoid color additives. Dyes such as Red #40 and Yellow #5 have been linked to behavioral disorders in children and hyperactivity.
I hope this list of tips gives you a better understanding of what you are reading. Just remember that your goal is to eat food that is closest to it's natural state. That requires that you shop along the perimeter of your grocery store. The middle aisles are usually where the processed food is contained and you shouldn't spend too much time shopping there.
It is important that you vote with your wallet as well. Many large grocery stores contain small sections of healthy and organic foods. If you buy more of them they will increase their selections to satisfy the demand. Just food for thought!
Happy Shopping!
In order to reap the healthiest benefits from the food you buy and consume it is important to understand how to read labels. While not all processed foods are bad you do want to focus more on the quality of your food. Much emphasis has been placed on counting calories and macronutrients versus understanding what you are eating.
Many consumers never really read the back of the labels on their food. Uneducated consumers focus more on advertisements such as LOW FAT, CARB FREE, GLUTEN FREE, SUGAR FREE, FAT FREE, NO TRANS FATS. What does that really mean and how does it affect your food? If sugar, fat, carbs and gluten are being removed from your food what are they being replaced with?
What it really boils down to is eating real food not products disguised as food. Here are a few tips to consider when reading labels:
1. Pay attention to the ingredients. The value of food is determined by the list of ingredients NOT the numbers posted on the Nutrition Food section of the label (calories, vitamins...etc.). Many foods have been fortified to make them look healthy but are loaded with sugar and other unhealthy ingredients.
Fortified foods are stripped of nutrients during processing and then fortified with nutrients that are not bioavailable and unusable in the body. Companies know we practice quantity versus quality so they fortify foods to make them look healthier so we will purchase them.
2. The ingredients list is in descending order of the amounts used in a particular product. If sugar is the first ingredient then the product has more sugar than anything else listed on the label.
3. Many companies use multiple versions of the same ingredient in order to place them further down on the list. For example a product can have more than one source of sugar such as high fructose corn syrup, honey, sucralose, evaporated cane sugar, etc.. Since there are several variations of sugar used in smaller quantities they can be listed further down on the ingredients list giving the illusion that they are healthier.
4. Be careful with fat free products. Often times when an ingredient is removed another unhealthy ingredient is added. Fat free does not automatically mean healthy.
5. Not all juices are created equal. Juices made from concentrate have lost most of their nutritional value during processing leaving behind only empty calories and sugars. It is best to purchase juice that is freshly squeezed. Try extracting your own fruit and veggies juices for the healthiest benefits.
6. Most companies are only concerned about their own bottom line. The more you buy their products the more money they make. In an attempt to maximize their profit they use celebrities, athletes and health organizations to endorse their products.
Be honest how many people wouldn't endorse an unhealthy product when they are making millions of dollars in endorsements. They are getting paid to mislead you. Don't be persuaded or fooled by advertisements. Do your own research!
7. Look at the number of servings and the size of each serving. Don't automatically assume that a bottle of juice is one serving. You may be consuming 700 calories for one bottle with 2 servings.
8. Read every label thoroughly. If you can't pronounce or recognize a certain ingredient don't buy it. Do some research before you purchase that product.
9. Avoid color additives. Dyes such as Red #40 and Yellow #5 have been linked to behavioral disorders in children and hyperactivity.
I hope this list of tips gives you a better understanding of what you are reading. Just remember that your goal is to eat food that is closest to it's natural state. That requires that you shop along the perimeter of your grocery store. The middle aisles are usually where the processed food is contained and you shouldn't spend too much time shopping there.
It is important that you vote with your wallet as well. Many large grocery stores contain small sections of healthy and organic foods. If you buy more of them they will increase their selections to satisfy the demand. Just food for thought!
Happy Shopping!
Friday, October 12, 2012
Making Peace
Living a truly healthy and abundant life is not just about eating healthy and exercising. A part that is often missed is the emotional part of our being. We tend to focus so much on the external things we can see in the mirror but often neglect what's within.
I have posted a few blogs about that subject so I won't get into it in this blog but I do have to stress the importance of examining your heart and intentions before starting a life transformation. As some of you may know from my other posts and from my personal story on my Facebook page I have endured some trying and VERY difficult issues in my marriage.
For years I held onto anger, resentment, shame and guilt for the things that happened. I held onto the pain of rejection and betrayal as I tried to recover from my husband's infidelity. I questioned my own worth as I tried to figure out how someone that was supposed to love, protect and support me could hurt me so badly.
I spent so many days, nights, months and years trapped between what I wished my life was and the reality of it after experiencing such a betrayal. I blamed myself, my husband, my parents and sometimes even God for the things that had occurred. I remained in a victim mentality for so many years and always struggled to find a sense of control over my life.
My emotions were constantly unstable and my faith was challenged. I wanted so badly to rebuild my life with my husband and create the family I didn't get to have as a child. I wanted better for my daughter and I fought day in and day out to change my husband.....to make him love me....to make him desire me.
Although we separated after the infidelity we still tried to remain in a relationship until I realized that I was not able to heal. The wounds had remained open because I wasn't dealing with the root cause of the affair. While many may think I am crazy I am confident in my beliefs. After 10 yrs of being tormented by the infidelity I realized that this was just a catalyst to catapult me to the place God created me to be.
The challenges in my life were just a way to build my character. The opposition was an opportunity to learn my true identity and worth. Although the infidelity left me feeling worthless and depleted God's love awakened me to unconditional love and abundance. Not only am I learning to love myself and accept myself for who God created me to be but I am also learning how to love and accept others.
The scars on my heart began to heal when I let love back in. When I began to understand just how much God loved me and desired for me to be free I was able to accept my past. Yes there may have been pain but it didn't define me. The rejection from my husband didn't mean I wasn't worthy. It meant that God loved me so much He chose me to endure this trial to awaken me and strengthen me.
I was not defeated and defenseless. I was not hopeless and unlovable. I am a precious gift from God. I was birthed through adversity. My struggles are not my story. They are a gift to other women that are going through and have gone through the same pain. My overcoming is a source of encouragement and inspiration.
That is the most amazing feeling to know that you are called and chosen. Not only did God create me for His glory but He has a specific plan for my life. Realizing this gave me sense of peace. I was able to accept all that I had gone through as I replaced every lie with God's truth.
Making peace with your past and those that hurt you often takes more than just a realization. It takes action. If you forgive someone you should be able to release the emotions and thoughts that have kept you bound. You should be able to heal the resentment and anger by loving that person unconditionally as God loves you. Understanding that they were also created with a plan and purpose helps you see them through the eyes of God.
Just as Judas was created to betray Jesus which ultimately lead to a promise being fulfilled so will people often be placed in your life. Had it not been for the betrayal Jesus would have not fulfilled His divine purpose. Had I not experienced the betrayal of my husband I could not fulfill my divine purpose. I would not be here right now speaking to you and ministering to people about God's love. I wouldn't have the passion to help inspire others to live a truly abundant life filled with all of God's promises as they walk in the fullness of their Being.
My belief is that forgiveness has the power to not only heal you but heal the other person. It helps you release the negative energy in your life that is brought about by resentment and anger and bring forth positive loving energy. It unlocks doors in your life that you never even knew were closed.
Since I understand the power of forgiveness that is what I did. I literally asked for my husband to forgive me. Yep you heard that right. Although he is the one that was the unfaithful one in the marriage I played my part. My holding onto resentment and anger and using my pain to manipulate him was my fault. I was out of character or my true nature when I stepped into my ego or flesh and partook of the insanity that is often caused by infidelity. I allowed my anger to keep him bound behind the bars of shame and guilt.
Fast forward to this day and I see how the act of forgiveness has empowered me to move forward in life. Although my husband and I are still not back together I am able to talk to him without feeling pain. He is going through a very trying time in his own personal life and has called me on several occasions for encouragement. I selflessly offer my love and support which is what you have to do when you love someone unconditionally.
We can't hold on to pain and expect to heal. We can't hold onto resentment and expect to be happy. It was an amazing feeling to see him yesterday after 1 1/2 yrs and be able to hug him and encourage him. My heart was not heavy. I didn't feel pain. I was genuinely just being the vessel that God called me to be.
Although he may not understand right now, my apology set the wheels in motion for his own healing. For several years I have wanted a sincere apology and recognition for all that he put me through. I have finally received them. I can now accept his apologies with a pure heart and allow him to fully heal from his own pain, shame and guilt.
This is what true relationships are all about...forgiving one another and accepting the other person for who they truly are. Seeing them with God goggles and loving them through their faults. No matter what the path may bring for my husband and I......I can honestly say that I only desire the best for him. I only want him to be all that God called him to be......NOT what I want him to be.
I have posted a few blogs about that subject so I won't get into it in this blog but I do have to stress the importance of examining your heart and intentions before starting a life transformation. As some of you may know from my other posts and from my personal story on my Facebook page I have endured some trying and VERY difficult issues in my marriage.
For years I held onto anger, resentment, shame and guilt for the things that happened. I held onto the pain of rejection and betrayal as I tried to recover from my husband's infidelity. I questioned my own worth as I tried to figure out how someone that was supposed to love, protect and support me could hurt me so badly.
I spent so many days, nights, months and years trapped between what I wished my life was and the reality of it after experiencing such a betrayal. I blamed myself, my husband, my parents and sometimes even God for the things that had occurred. I remained in a victim mentality for so many years and always struggled to find a sense of control over my life.
My emotions were constantly unstable and my faith was challenged. I wanted so badly to rebuild my life with my husband and create the family I didn't get to have as a child. I wanted better for my daughter and I fought day in and day out to change my husband.....to make him love me....to make him desire me.
Although we separated after the infidelity we still tried to remain in a relationship until I realized that I was not able to heal. The wounds had remained open because I wasn't dealing with the root cause of the affair. While many may think I am crazy I am confident in my beliefs. After 10 yrs of being tormented by the infidelity I realized that this was just a catalyst to catapult me to the place God created me to be.
The challenges in my life were just a way to build my character. The opposition was an opportunity to learn my true identity and worth. Although the infidelity left me feeling worthless and depleted God's love awakened me to unconditional love and abundance. Not only am I learning to love myself and accept myself for who God created me to be but I am also learning how to love and accept others.
The scars on my heart began to heal when I let love back in. When I began to understand just how much God loved me and desired for me to be free I was able to accept my past. Yes there may have been pain but it didn't define me. The rejection from my husband didn't mean I wasn't worthy. It meant that God loved me so much He chose me to endure this trial to awaken me and strengthen me.
I was not defeated and defenseless. I was not hopeless and unlovable. I am a precious gift from God. I was birthed through adversity. My struggles are not my story. They are a gift to other women that are going through and have gone through the same pain. My overcoming is a source of encouragement and inspiration.
That is the most amazing feeling to know that you are called and chosen. Not only did God create me for His glory but He has a specific plan for my life. Realizing this gave me sense of peace. I was able to accept all that I had gone through as I replaced every lie with God's truth.
Making peace with your past and those that hurt you often takes more than just a realization. It takes action. If you forgive someone you should be able to release the emotions and thoughts that have kept you bound. You should be able to heal the resentment and anger by loving that person unconditionally as God loves you. Understanding that they were also created with a plan and purpose helps you see them through the eyes of God.
Just as Judas was created to betray Jesus which ultimately lead to a promise being fulfilled so will people often be placed in your life. Had it not been for the betrayal Jesus would have not fulfilled His divine purpose. Had I not experienced the betrayal of my husband I could not fulfill my divine purpose. I would not be here right now speaking to you and ministering to people about God's love. I wouldn't have the passion to help inspire others to live a truly abundant life filled with all of God's promises as they walk in the fullness of their Being.
My belief is that forgiveness has the power to not only heal you but heal the other person. It helps you release the negative energy in your life that is brought about by resentment and anger and bring forth positive loving energy. It unlocks doors in your life that you never even knew were closed.
Since I understand the power of forgiveness that is what I did. I literally asked for my husband to forgive me. Yep you heard that right. Although he is the one that was the unfaithful one in the marriage I played my part. My holding onto resentment and anger and using my pain to manipulate him was my fault. I was out of character or my true nature when I stepped into my ego or flesh and partook of the insanity that is often caused by infidelity. I allowed my anger to keep him bound behind the bars of shame and guilt.
Fast forward to this day and I see how the act of forgiveness has empowered me to move forward in life. Although my husband and I are still not back together I am able to talk to him without feeling pain. He is going through a very trying time in his own personal life and has called me on several occasions for encouragement. I selflessly offer my love and support which is what you have to do when you love someone unconditionally.
We can't hold on to pain and expect to heal. We can't hold onto resentment and expect to be happy. It was an amazing feeling to see him yesterday after 1 1/2 yrs and be able to hug him and encourage him. My heart was not heavy. I didn't feel pain. I was genuinely just being the vessel that God called me to be.
Although he may not understand right now, my apology set the wheels in motion for his own healing. For several years I have wanted a sincere apology and recognition for all that he put me through. I have finally received them. I can now accept his apologies with a pure heart and allow him to fully heal from his own pain, shame and guilt.
This is what true relationships are all about...forgiving one another and accepting the other person for who they truly are. Seeing them with God goggles and loving them through their faults. No matter what the path may bring for my husband and I......I can honestly say that I only desire the best for him. I only want him to be all that God called him to be......NOT what I want him to be.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Where Do I Start?
I get saddened when I hear people say that they are discouraged about trying to lose weight. They often get overwhelmed with the thoughts of taking on a whole new world they are not familiar with. They sometimes settle with where they are because they are afraid of trying something new or stepping out of their comfort zone.
When I first decided to make some healthy changes in my life I remember how I felt. I was definitely a little scared to step out of my house. I had lived in a nice little bubble of mediocrity and the thought of popping it made me feel insecure about myself.
I prayed and asked God to direct my path. I asked for Him to teach me and show me what was best for my body. After all He knows what's best for me because He designed me. While there are many diet plans and workout plans out there I didn't want to get stuck doing something that was not for me. I believe that everyone's bodies and needs are different.
In my opinion this journey is much more about a spiritual journey than many realize. Many of us don't struggle with weight issues because we are obsessed with foods and are lazy. We have internal struggles that cause us to use food as therapy. I know that was my case. So since I have emotional issues the same diet plan that works for you might not work for me.
It's kind of like when people tell you not to take someone else's prescription medication. While it may treat the illness the same it is not prescribed to you. Taking the medication can have a different affect on you than it does your friend. With that being said I believe the first step to losing weight and transforming your body starts from within.
There are mental issues we often have to confront and deal with. Losing weight won't take care of your depression, poor self image or marriage. Come on let's be real with ourselves. While feeling good might make us feel better about ourselves it is only a band aid in comparison to knowing your true worth at the depth of your core.
Understanding who we are will help heal many of the emotional issues we have. We are not defined by the labels we place on ourselves. We are not defined by our relationships, social status, education, past or anything we posses. We are much more than a number on a scale and pant size. Our worth is not defined by whether or not you can wear a bikini or flex a huge muscle.
Who we are remains after we strip away all the layers. It is what keeps us floating when the ship feels like it's sinking. It is what keeps us hopeful when everything seems to be up in chaos. It is the peace in the midst of the storm. Who we are can not be defined.
If we can not be defined then we have no limits. The minute we define ourselves with labels we limit ourselves. We can only go as far as our mind can take us. So if we have placed stereotypes and limitations on ourselves we can't even reach our highest potential.
Stripping away the layers of perceived limitations and labels helps us expand our minds. It helps our inner being shine and illuminate our true path...the path that leads to all things marvelous. Of course we may be confronted with things that challenge us but we know we can face them and overcome them.
We were not just created to live. We were created to prosper and succeed. That doesn't mean that you will attempt a thing and fail. That means that what ever you put your heart into and discipline your mind to achieve you can do and will do. You just have to believe in yourself. Believe in your ability to do what others may think is impossible.
My daughter challenged me the other day to look outside of my little box. I have limited my own potential because I have tried to define myself by what others think is acceptable and possible. I haven't tapped into my true potential and reached my goals because I get discouraged. When something doesn't go how I want it to I tend to give up.
I guess part of me feels that maybe I can't ever achieve the success I want. Or maybe I have defined myself by my perceived failures and haven't stripped away those labels. I have to detach myself from the thoughts that say I can't and never will and remember who I am.
I was looking at myself in the mirror the other day and said "God I don't like the image I see". He said "you need to see yourself in my image". Wow! What a powerful revelation. We often look at ourselves and see what we think others see. We judge ourselves because we look at our "flaws". We judge ourselves by the things we have endured in our past. We see ourselves through eyes of pain, rejection, shame and disappointment.
God sees us through the eyes of love. When He looks at you He sees a perfect being. He sees the marvelous and fearful work He created. He sees the strength within us. He sees unlimited power and potential.
God wants us to see ourselves the way He sees us. When you can look at yourself in that manner then you will unlock every possibility in your life. You will not allow the past to define you. You will not be limited by stereotypes and perceived limitations. You will have the power and passion to pursue your dreams and fulfill your destiny.
When I first decided to make some healthy changes in my life I remember how I felt. I was definitely a little scared to step out of my house. I had lived in a nice little bubble of mediocrity and the thought of popping it made me feel insecure about myself.
I prayed and asked God to direct my path. I asked for Him to teach me and show me what was best for my body. After all He knows what's best for me because He designed me. While there are many diet plans and workout plans out there I didn't want to get stuck doing something that was not for me. I believe that everyone's bodies and needs are different.
In my opinion this journey is much more about a spiritual journey than many realize. Many of us don't struggle with weight issues because we are obsessed with foods and are lazy. We have internal struggles that cause us to use food as therapy. I know that was my case. So since I have emotional issues the same diet plan that works for you might not work for me.
It's kind of like when people tell you not to take someone else's prescription medication. While it may treat the illness the same it is not prescribed to you. Taking the medication can have a different affect on you than it does your friend. With that being said I believe the first step to losing weight and transforming your body starts from within.
There are mental issues we often have to confront and deal with. Losing weight won't take care of your depression, poor self image or marriage. Come on let's be real with ourselves. While feeling good might make us feel better about ourselves it is only a band aid in comparison to knowing your true worth at the depth of your core.
Understanding who we are will help heal many of the emotional issues we have. We are not defined by the labels we place on ourselves. We are not defined by our relationships, social status, education, past or anything we posses. We are much more than a number on a scale and pant size. Our worth is not defined by whether or not you can wear a bikini or flex a huge muscle.
Who we are remains after we strip away all the layers. It is what keeps us floating when the ship feels like it's sinking. It is what keeps us hopeful when everything seems to be up in chaos. It is the peace in the midst of the storm. Who we are can not be defined.
If we can not be defined then we have no limits. The minute we define ourselves with labels we limit ourselves. We can only go as far as our mind can take us. So if we have placed stereotypes and limitations on ourselves we can't even reach our highest potential.
Stripping away the layers of perceived limitations and labels helps us expand our minds. It helps our inner being shine and illuminate our true path...the path that leads to all things marvelous. Of course we may be confronted with things that challenge us but we know we can face them and overcome them.
We were not just created to live. We were created to prosper and succeed. That doesn't mean that you will attempt a thing and fail. That means that what ever you put your heart into and discipline your mind to achieve you can do and will do. You just have to believe in yourself. Believe in your ability to do what others may think is impossible.
My daughter challenged me the other day to look outside of my little box. I have limited my own potential because I have tried to define myself by what others think is acceptable and possible. I haven't tapped into my true potential and reached my goals because I get discouraged. When something doesn't go how I want it to I tend to give up.
I guess part of me feels that maybe I can't ever achieve the success I want. Or maybe I have defined myself by my perceived failures and haven't stripped away those labels. I have to detach myself from the thoughts that say I can't and never will and remember who I am.
I was looking at myself in the mirror the other day and said "God I don't like the image I see". He said "you need to see yourself in my image". Wow! What a powerful revelation. We often look at ourselves and see what we think others see. We judge ourselves because we look at our "flaws". We judge ourselves by the things we have endured in our past. We see ourselves through eyes of pain, rejection, shame and disappointment.
God sees us through the eyes of love. When He looks at you He sees a perfect being. He sees the marvelous and fearful work He created. He sees the strength within us. He sees unlimited power and potential.
God wants us to see ourselves the way He sees us. When you can look at yourself in that manner then you will unlock every possibility in your life. You will not allow the past to define you. You will not be limited by stereotypes and perceived limitations. You will have the power and passion to pursue your dreams and fulfill your destiny.
Monday, October 8, 2012
My Opinion
*Stepping on my soap box*
I felt the need to voice my opinion about a subject that I have seen pop up a lot lately. I have seen Christians or believers try to defend their beliefs on sexuality and faith. Yes, I understand that God created us and that we are sexual by nature but to the service of who?
I believe that sexuality is to be expressed between two consenting adults. It is a gift that was given to us to share with our mates and not the world. I don't agree with using our sexuality to show off our bodies or make money.
My body was created for God's glory. I am to treat it as a sacred temple. I feel that using it to make myself feel good and showing it off in a sexual way to the world does not stay within those parameters. I have a problem with people using God's name to pursue their own guilty pleasures.
I have seen people say that posing in a sexual way or nude is a form of art. Okay I understand that but when you are sharing it for others to see that kind of crosses a line for me. It is truly all about the intention of ones heart that God is concerned with. I am not here to judge anyone for their choices. I just feel the need to express my opinion about the matter.
My beliefs were confirmed when I watched a video today by Fitness Model Jamie Eason. I love how she was so transparent and vulnerable with the world. She shared how she knew what she was doing was not right but she did it anyways. Now she is paying the price for the decisions she made. (Go here to check out her video about the subject.)
She shared how she realized that she was being viewed by several different eyes and each one had a different interpretation of her work. Some people that were struggling with sex addictions were looking at her pictures and it was fueling their illness. She didn't want to be perceived in that light. She understood that she had to take responsibility for the images she was portraying.
With all that being said I just wanted to share my opinion because while I do admire the physics often displayed in some of those fitness photos I also understand the impact they can have. We are not responsible for what others feel or think but we are responsible for the image we project. I wouldn't want to be a person that fuels unhealthy thoughts or perceptions that are associated with over sexualized images.
I have came across some people who defend the use of nudity and risque photos and try to use the "God Approved" stamp on it. They do their best to justify their actions as being pure but yet in still make comments that reveal the true intent of their hearts. I can't support that. I have to stand for what my heart believes is true. After all life is an issue of the heart.
I think we must examine our hearts before we make decisions. Does the action glorify God our your flesh? What is the intention behind the action? We have to be willing to be honest and vulernable in order to be pure with our actions. Would God smile upon your decision? Be real with yourself. Would you be comfortable with Him watching you.....because He is!
"Test me, O LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind;" Psalms 26:2
What are you views on this subject?
I felt the need to voice my opinion about a subject that I have seen pop up a lot lately. I have seen Christians or believers try to defend their beliefs on sexuality and faith. Yes, I understand that God created us and that we are sexual by nature but to the service of who?
I believe that sexuality is to be expressed between two consenting adults. It is a gift that was given to us to share with our mates and not the world. I don't agree with using our sexuality to show off our bodies or make money.
My body was created for God's glory. I am to treat it as a sacred temple. I feel that using it to make myself feel good and showing it off in a sexual way to the world does not stay within those parameters. I have a problem with people using God's name to pursue their own guilty pleasures.
I have seen people say that posing in a sexual way or nude is a form of art. Okay I understand that but when you are sharing it for others to see that kind of crosses a line for me. It is truly all about the intention of ones heart that God is concerned with. I am not here to judge anyone for their choices. I just feel the need to express my opinion about the matter.
My beliefs were confirmed when I watched a video today by Fitness Model Jamie Eason. I love how she was so transparent and vulnerable with the world. She shared how she knew what she was doing was not right but she did it anyways. Now she is paying the price for the decisions she made. (Go here to check out her video about the subject.)
She shared how she realized that she was being viewed by several different eyes and each one had a different interpretation of her work. Some people that were struggling with sex addictions were looking at her pictures and it was fueling their illness. She didn't want to be perceived in that light. She understood that she had to take responsibility for the images she was portraying.
With all that being said I just wanted to share my opinion because while I do admire the physics often displayed in some of those fitness photos I also understand the impact they can have. We are not responsible for what others feel or think but we are responsible for the image we project. I wouldn't want to be a person that fuels unhealthy thoughts or perceptions that are associated with over sexualized images.
I have came across some people who defend the use of nudity and risque photos and try to use the "God Approved" stamp on it. They do their best to justify their actions as being pure but yet in still make comments that reveal the true intent of their hearts. I can't support that. I have to stand for what my heart believes is true. After all life is an issue of the heart.
I think we must examine our hearts before we make decisions. Does the action glorify God our your flesh? What is the intention behind the action? We have to be willing to be honest and vulernable in order to be pure with our actions. Would God smile upon your decision? Be real with yourself. Would you be comfortable with Him watching you.....because He is!
"Test me, O LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind;" Psalms 26:2
What are you views on this subject?
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
LOVE
"Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we have learned here. The spiritual journey is the relinquishment or unlearning of fear and the acceptance of love back into our hearts. Love is the essential existential fact. It is our ultimate reality and our purpose on Earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning doesn't lie in things. Meaning lies in us."
- from A Return To Love by Marianne Willliamson
Love for yourself or others is an absence of fear and a surrender to what is. Many of us live in fear. The fear of losing, dying, failing, or hurting. We think "what will happen if?" We scare ourselves into the closet and never realize our true potential because we refuse to step into the light. In the light is where we will find the truth that lies beneath the lies. It is where we will find the key that unlocks the doors to our greatest potential.
Many of us continue to live in this state of perpetual fear because the pain is too great. The weight of our burdens and pain keep us paralyzed....unwilling to move forward. The thought of stepping into a territory that we are unfamiliar with seems daunting and unsure.
We would rather clench onto the thoughts of our past than move into a place of freedom.Why? Maybe because although it's painful it's a feeling we know all too well. The frustration, anger, resentment, chaos and drama is something that we have grown to accept as our life. We have even gone as far as to believe that it is who we are. It is what we were destined to be.
What a lie that is. It is something we have learned to be true because it has been our reality for so long. The grief and pain has been what has filled our minds day in and day out. We don't know how to live without it. Just one feeling of joy triggers a feeling of awkwardness. "What is this?" "Will it last?" "Is something bad going to happen?" "This can't last very long."
I remember being in a place of constant fear and worry. I worried over everything in my life. I was always wondering when the next tragedy was going to take place. I would wake up in the middle of the night just to make sure my daughter was still breathing. I remember being so afraid that I would lose her that I didn't want to let her go. Literally! I would lay in bed and place my hand on her heart just to make sure she was still alive. It was a horrible feeling of panic that took over me and didn't let me live.
The very essence of who I was was trapped beneath layers and layers of lies. I believed that my life would always be tragic. I allowed the things I went through in my life to steal my joy. I let the pain keep me trapped behind the bars of fear and uncertainty.
Crazy how I could love and worship God but yet I didn't trust Him. Maybe it was because many of the people I had loved and worshiped (idolized, esteemed) before left me and hurt me. I based my whole life on the actions of others. I established my relationship with God amongst those same principle. I thought "God is just going to hurt me to teach me something". "If I do something wrong He is going to punish me". I had a tarnished perception of God. I had a tarnished perception about life and myself as well. I let the circumstances in my life define me.
As A Return to Love states so beautifully "Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we have learned...". Learning to detach ourselves from the labels that life has given us helps us heal from the pain and step into our true being. I feel that we have placed meaning to the things in our lives. We have allowed them to have a voice. We have allowed them to control us. We have allowed them to define us by what we perceived them to be. We have became victims and lost our power to them. We have given them meaning yet lost our own meaning within us.
The only truth and meaning that matters is that LOVE exists and is the very essence of who we are. The things you go through don't take away from who or what you are. They don't limit you. We are afraid when we feel threatened by life. We forget who we are and we think that what we go through has power over us. We think it can take away from who we are because we don't understand our true worth.
As we begin to awaken to the truth beneath the lies we will begin to move away from the darkness and into God's marvelous light. Every deception and fear will be illuminated by God's truth and undying love for you. You will begin to see yourself as you truly are and embrace whatever life has for you. You will understand that the pain only came to reveal the truth. It only came to point you in the direction of endless joy and possibilities. The pain was just a catalyst to help you step out of fear and into love.
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