Free Yourself

I have been hurt so many times in life as have many of you. That pain lead me to become an emotional eater. I used food to heal emotions and pains that I didn't want to deal with. I used food to silence the voices in my head that told me I wasn't good enough.

I guess I thought maybe I could hide the pain, shame, and guilt under layers of fat and insecurities. If I didn't put myself out there then I couldn't be hurt. If I hid under my tough exterior then maybe I could prevent someone from getting to close to disappoint me.

I did this for many years but decided one day that I was tired of it. I was done with giving away my power to food. I was tired of letting others determine how my day went. I was tired of being a victim.

I was ready to take control of my life and be free from the turmoil and pain. I didn't want to feel ashamed or guilty anymore for the things that other people had did to me. I couldn't expect someone else to give me what they didn't have. I couldn't expect them to make me feel worthy when they didn't even know their own value.

I released the expectations I had on others. I became my priority and took responsibility for my life. My happiness was dependant on my ability to love and accept myself. It didn't matter what anyone else did or didn't do for me. It didn't matter if they loved me. I knew God loved me. I knew that the only way I could be set free was to get that truth way deep down inside.

You see many of us know truths in our heads but we haven't let them penetrate our hearts. God's word says that the issues of life flow from the heart. (Proverbs 4:23) He tells us to protect our hearts with all diligence. We may know many things. We many be able to quote biblical scripture or recite mantras. That means nothing if you don't allow it to penetrate your heart.

Some of us have been hurt so many times that we have created calluses on our hearts. We have created protective layers. We have allowed ourselves to be conformed by the circumstances in our lives. We have forced ourselves to fit a mold that we were not created to be in. We have stepped out of God's truth and accepted the lies our hurt has dictated to us. We believe that if someone didn't find us worthy then we must not be worthy.

We have allowed the pain and fear of our past distract us from the truth of who we are. We have settled for a life full of turmoil and chaos when God promised us prosperity and abundance. We have been promised strength but yet we feel weak. We have been promised the victory but yet we feel defeated.

Instead of allowing God's word to transform us we have allowed the calluses to keep us bound (Romans 12:2). We have accepted the lies because it's all we have known. We have allowed ourselves to stay in a comfort zone that is no longer comfortable but yet we have been too afraid to step out of.

How do we get out of this place of feeling pain, guilt, shame, resentment, fear and anger? How do we set OURSELVES free and walk in the fullness of God's glory. God says we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). We are the glory of God. So we have all sinned or gone against His will and functioned out of our nature. We have all struggled with living in this world and not allowing it to conform us.

The truth is the only thing that can set us free from the past. We can only truly be healed by allowing God's word to penetrate our hearts. We can't address the emotional eating without getting to the source of that emotion. It's a heart issue. We have to awaken to the truth of who we truly are in God. We have to see ourselves as God sees us and love ourselves despite our perceived "flaws".

Remember God says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are God's works. We are a reflection and manifestation of His love. If we are love than we must manifest His love in our everyday lives. We must love ourselves enough to release ourselves from the pain. We must remove the bandages and truly allow the wounds to be healed. We can't cover up the pain with food anymore. We have to set ourselves free.